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A Simple Tip For Better Sex

I recently met a sex coach at a conference and asked for her top tip to improve sex for a married couple. Her answer was shockingly simple: do a debrief. After sex, talk honestly about what it was like for each of you. I realized how rare that conversation happened between Joe and me. And since our individual experiences are so different, how would we have any idea without telling each other? At work, we constantly look to improve through feedback from our colleagues a

Stab to the Heart, Praise to the Back

Last week I heard Everfi founder, Tom Davidson, speak. My favorite advice of his—stab to the heart; praise to the back. Stab to the heart. When you have negative feedback, tell someone to their face. Yes, the stab initially stings, but it will probably make them (and your relationship) better. Praise to the back. When you have positive feedback, tell everyone they know. Building others up changes the whole culture of your team and boosts up the person far more than a si

Cultivate Weak Ties

I get it. You’re busy. Who has time for small-chat with the barista as you rush off to work? But it’s worth it. Those few minutes of interactions with your weak ties (such as that barista, the moms at pick-up, or your yoga instructor) have been scientifically shown to boost your happiness just as much as time with close friends and family. Weak ties create a feeling community, making us feel like we belong. And, studies show that interacting with casual acquaintances opens

Have the Hard Discussion

My newfound travel schedule is stressful for my family. My kids seem OK. I am making a point of being fully there when I am with them. I’m more worried about the stress it puts on Joe, my husband, who has to solo-parent while I’m gone. I’ve felt his stress. I knew we needed to talk about it, but have been putting it off, nervous. The thought of the conversation kept weighing on me. Until I had it, guess what? It went great. I mapped out how I could help make it work—g

Girl Power

I just landed after three days in the woods with 100 incredible women at the Chairman Mom Flee. The highlight? Ten CEOs and investors crowded around my little Chromebook on a rustic picnic table tearing my new investor pitch to shreds. It felt amazing. They truly cared. Every suggestion was a little buttress of support. In a world where only 6% of VC money goes to women founders, we are in this battle together. I realized how starved I was for intergenerational female friends

Make Your Own Magic

The genesis of our trip to Europe was a visit with my 93-year-old Aunt Shelia, who is a nun and a talented artist. She's lived a fascinating life, meeting the Beatles, the Queen, and the Pope. My kids needed to meet her. As soon the door closed on our lovely visit, though, I started to sob. I wanted her to be a part of my regular life, not just one-off visits. My heart ached with how much I missed her. Then it hit me. I was looking at this too narrowly. There are other ways b

Make Someone's Day in a Minute

I find Facebook during birthdays to be completely overwhelming. I don't love attention or superficial small talk, and somehow the deluge of "Happy Birthday!" posts combine both of these. My mom-friend, Leah inspired me with her alternative -- sending a quick text with a special memory shared with the birthday girl. Below is our exchange this year. This one minute of thoughtfulness made me feel so much more connected to her even though we were hundreds of miles apart. So today

Re-Think Date Night

Joe and I go on date night every week. It's a non-negotiable. When we've skipped one, I feel it, forgetting that we talk about topics outside of laundry and kindergarten applications. Struggle to get yours in? Think outside the dinner and drink framework: Combine with self-care: Go to a workout class together and grab a quick bite after. Think beyond 'night': Grab breakfast after drop-off, meet each other for lunch, or take a whole day off together sans kids. Sign-up for a re

Be a Slingshot

Recently, I heard a new favorite analogy for great relationships: Be a slingshot. Serve as your partner’s support and cradle, so that when he or she is ready, you can help sling them into the world, going further than they could on their own. Joe is definitely mine. He grounds me and serves as a calming balance to my nuttiness. I would not be who or where I am without him. How do you approach your relationship? Are you each other’s slingshots? What would you need to give or g

Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

The creativity of the moms I interview inspires me daily. My recent favorite mom super-move: schedule standing conference calls with your kids. Sherice Torres, Marketing Director at Google, does this every day for 3:15 pick-up. The kids are on speaker on their ride home. They share a highlight of the day and reflect on whether the day was a thumbs up, down or in the middle and why. The great thing is that the entire family -- kids, mom, and dad now have a forum to connect tru

Build Team You

Becoming a parent is the most significant identity shift I ever experienced. It’s not about fitting a baby into your life, but determining what life you want to create for your family. It took me years to fully adjust to my new normal. This week’s homework: Build your personal board of directors. Pick a handful or more of people from different aspects and stages of your life that truly know you, such as a sibling, best friend from college, and favorite manager. Then define th

A Simple Question To Save Your Relationships

When I'm having an issue with someone, my first reaction is to ruminate on all they are doing wrong. But, we can't change others. We can only change our own reactions. Even worse, blaming others sets you up as a victim, disempowered from improving the situation. That's why I was inspired by this one couple's simple solution -- asking each other every day, "How can I make your day better?" I love this because it turns emotional issues into concrete positive actions you can do

Double Down on Your Network

As a working mom, it's easy to let networking fall to the bottom (and honestly, off) your to-do list. It's so much easier to do tangible activities with deadlines. But, investing in your network, is investing in you. Alli Young, the founder of The Forem (helps women get further, faster through workshops and coaching) recommends: "For high performing, perfectionist women, it's critical to remember that being social and fostering a network is an important part of your job. For

But, How Do I Actually Get It On

It's so ironic that kids can be so great at crippling the very act that got them here. Here's to hoping that today isn't the only day this month that you'll get lucky. Finding the moment. Don't say you don't have time -- you only need 15 minutes!  Pro tip: Lock the door, so you don't get walked in on. Screen time: Plop them in front of their favorite TV show. Trust me, a little screen time is worth it. Post-bedtime: Before you get busy on your laptop, get busy with your partn

Get it on

Where does sex fall on your priority list?  Over half of millennial parents say it's at the bottom on busy days (and seriously, what days aren't?) For me, I give of myself all day, so when Joe makes a move, it can feel like someone else wanting something from my already depleted stores. My favorite relationship expert, Esther Perel suggests re-framing: Your partner isn't taking but giving -- offering you a chance to stay connected to a major part of who you are that you are c

Turn Up Your Sacred Moments

Too often as parents our relationships over-index on the secular: taking care of the kids, managing the household, and paying the bills. But, it's the sacred moments that cause us to connect truly --those nights when times flies because you are so engrossed in conversation or lying in bed together before the chaos commences. The best way to turn up the sacred? Weekly date nights.  Here are some tips: Be consistent. Schedule it weekly. It doesn't have to be fancy. Some of our

Show the Right Kind of Love

It's cliche, but nothing makes me feel more loved than Joe pitching in on the childcare and housework. These acts mean more to me than fancy gifts or foot massages. Can't relate? Then we probably have different Love Languages. Gary Chapman lays out Five Love Languages - different ways that people show and understand love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. (Take his quiz to find out yours.) We usually default to showing lo

Let Them Do it Their Way

My top tip for new moms: Don't micro-manage your partner. We've all done it -- you see them struggling with something you've done dozens of times, so start critiquing or, worst, take over. They feel unhelpful, so stop trying. If this happens regularly, you get stuck doing the brunt of the work. Worst yet, you don't have two minds actively tackling parenthood. Yes, they do it differently -- that's the beauty. Joe taught me new ways to sooth since he didn't have the crutch of b

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