Why It's So Hard

Recently I was talking to another founder about why starting a company is so hard. She said, "You are just doing everything for the first time. Even once you figure something out, you iterate, so everything is new." It reminded me of being a new mom. Everything is new. Once you figure something out, your baby (and situation) changes. Just recognizing why it was so hard made me feel better and show myself some self-compassion. Hopefully it helps you a bit, too. #selflove #s

Whatever You Do, Don’t Turn on Yourself

Last week I didn’t get into the start-up accelerator, Y Combinator. It was a long-shot. 1% of applicants get in, but I was disappointed. A good friend gave me great advice: “Whatever you do, don’t turn on yourself.” I loved this. The world might beat you down, but you can’t let your inner dialogue tear down your self-confidence. So today, ask yourself: Am I on my side? And, don’t forget, we’re rooting for you, too. #selfcompassion #selfcare #growthmindset

Are You Willing to do the Work?

Recently, I’ve been struggling with the fact that I’ve gained 15 pounds since I became a founder. I am so proud of my fitness and feel like part of my identity has been taken away. Then I read this article about what actions it takes to be lean at different levels. Was I willing to do the habits necessary to get the goal I wanted? At this point in my life, no. I want more than two drinks a week and don’t want to weigh all my food. As hard as this is for me mentally, I realize

Put Your Hand on Your Heart

Recently a tiny action has made a massive difference in my self-talk. When I feel worn down or hard on myself, I place my hand on the bare skin over my heart. This movement is incredibly comforting. Maybe it’s the skin-to-skin contact or just taking a second to pause. The physical touch reminds me to be kind to myself and helps me connect to my emotions to take a few moments to feel. Show yourself a little love today. The best part is that you can do this right now in a few s

Your Self-Love Languages

I recently had an epiphany about self-love—the best way to show yourself love is to play into your dominant love languages. Mine are acts of service and quality time. So, the best way to show myself love is to do nice things for me and make sure to carve out some time for dates with myself. That's why meal prep, weekly self-facials, and journalling feel so good. While buying myself gifts just doesn't do it for me. So, this week, play into your self-love languages and give

Self-compassion

I know I can be my own worst enemy. I’ve said things to myself that I would never say to my worst enemy. Chances are you have, too. You are not alone. We do this for a reason. We believe that by being hard on ourselves, we’ll whip ourselves into shape. By picking apart ourselves, we’ll motivate ourselves to be better. However, the research points to the opposite. Studies show that being self-compassionate leads to greater self-improvement and motivation. People who beat

Pat Yourself on the Back

Recently, I had a conversation with one of our coaches that choked me up. I had just shared all of our content with her, and she was like, "Wow, there has been a ridiculous amount of work done." In my go-go-go mindset, I hadn't stopped to appreciate all that I had accomplished. I just moved on to the next thing on my to-do list. That simple comment made me stop and appreciate myself (and my rocking team.) So today's tip: slow down. Look at how much you have accomplishe

How to Feel Better with a Simple Click

Oh, Instagram—I both love and hate you. Being a working mom is messy, hard, and doesn't really fit into a beautifully composed square. It's easy to underestimate the impact of only seeing the highlight reel of people's lives. Don't forget that people are both curating and filtering their lives to look better. So today, scroll through your feed and notice how you are feeling. If any post makes you feel less-than, first remember that you aren't and then un-follow. Let's

Why Dads Are Happier Than Moms

It often seems like dads are happier than moms, but I'm still shocked to see a report analyzing over 18,000 people prove it. “Fathers reported greater happiness during child care than for anything else they did that day, whereas mothers reported lower happiness during child care than for other activities during the day,” Nelson-Coffey, the study's author said. There were three main reasons: Play: Moms usually spent twice as much time caring for their kids, and the dad's ti

Be Your Own Inspiration

Over the past year, I have gained 15 pounds. I suffered from the stress of starting a new company, back issues preventing workouts, and experiments with different food choices for my gut. I am committed to losing this. I started looking at before and after photos online for inspiration but wasn't connecting since situations and bodies are so different. Then I realized I could be my own inspiration. I lost over 45 pounds after the birth of Rowan. I could lose 15. I crea

What's Your Theme for 2019?

I'm a huge fan of giving each year a theme. Mine last year was "root cause", which helped me focus on solving issues versus treating symptoms. I learned that I have a dairy and gluten intolerance, which has improved my digestion, and I changed out my mattress to fix my underlying back pain. This year's theme is Self-love. I love this theme because it encompasses: being less hard on myself, making time for self-care, and most importantly, working on mindset. I want to t

Take a Mental Health Day

Over the past two weeks, I've been battling burnout. I've worked hard this past year to learn my personal signs. I feel tired, but more importantly, sad. The old Kari would have just pushed through. I mean, I have work to do. The new Kari took the afternoon off. I caught up with a friend for an hour on the phone, bought a new favorite dress, and got a massage. The crazy part? Even with the time off, the week was my most productive all year. Your goal is to create a situation

Go ahead, Suck at Meditation

Even though I've done hundreds of hours, I still suck at meditation. The amount of progress I make on my to-do list during them is embarrassing. But, not only is that OK, it's the point. Meditation isn't about perfection. It's a practice. Every time your mind wanders, you are learning how to bring it back. You learn how to recover. How to focus. How to let go. So if your mind wanders 43 times in your short session. Great. 43 reps to build those recovery, focus, and letting go

Stop Giving a F*ck

I love this quote and wish I could figure out who coined it—What others think of you is none of your business. Too often, we get sucked into the trap of caring what others think—me included. Today was "Dress like your favorite book Character" day at Rowan's school. He showed up sans costume. I'm sure it looks like I plain forgot. What is not shown is the multiple rounds of bunny costumer orders from Amazon or the four costumes we tried on this morning. Let's just say that hav

Doggone It, People Like Me

I love Halcyon Program Coordinator, Mike Malloy's daily habit. Every time he looks in the mirror, he tells himself something positive. Too often, our self-talk (especially around mirrors) focuses on the negative. So today, shake it up and repeat with me: I look fantastic. I am a good mom.  I am worth it. And, doggone it, people like me. #selfcare #selftalk #selfcompassion

Streaking Rowan on the Loose

For me, the hardest part about being a working mom by far is parenting, especially discipline. This week I took the kids to the beach post-work. I let them wander towards the boardwalk while I spent 2 minutes cleaning up the beach toys. In that time, my kids rolled around in the sand covering every inch of their bodies. Rowan then took his pants off and ran down the beach. We are talking two minutes! I was mortified. The angry mom voice came out. And, frankly, I ruined the en

The Confidence of a Mediocre White Dude

Every day I'm shocked by how many of the young moms I work with struggle with imposter syndrome. I work with and encounter some of the most amazing humans I've ever met. These women are smart, gritty, and fun. Yet, they spend a significant portion of their headspace beating themselves up and harping on what they are doing wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm in this bucket, too. Just today I doubted my coaching abilities after a call, beating myself up for not striking the right ba

It's Not All or Nothing

On Tuesday, Chloe's school went on a blueberry picking field trip. I signed up to volunteer - excited to spend the morning with her. On Monday, I looked at my calendar and the panic set in. I had too much work to fit in a 5-hour weekday excursion. The school had enough chaperones without me, so I canceled. I felt horrible. Guilt created a story about how disappointed Chloe would be. I sat her down in the Living Room for the 'big discussion,' preparing for tears. It turns out

Break the Chain

The past two weeks had me slipping into some old bad habits. During Chloe's sickness, I caught up with late night working sessions. I was anxious and waking for the day at 4 AM. Once she got better, I didn't stop. I felt like I was on a train of work, work, work, and I didn't know how to jump off. To make things worse, my inner critic kept saying, "How can you help other moms when you can't even help yourself?" Jeez. Dark, right? The good news is that the simplest of acts set

Don't Look Back

I battle with emotional eating -- especially out of stress or boredom. One night after Chloe's health scare, I found myself gorging on Cookie Crisp cereal. I had held it together during the height of the scare, but the relief of her being diagnosed triggered me. I have a nutrition coach, Melanie Barnshaw, whom I checked-in with the next day. I loved her advice: "We don't look backward unless we plan on going that way. Today is a new day." I learned something about myself: I a