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How to Split Household Duties with Your Partner

Updated: Jan 18, 2019

The average American woman spends 44 minutes more than her spouse per day on housework.  This imbalance is insane, adding up to over two weeks of waking hours per year. Even crazier is that when a woman outearns her husband (which is 38% of households these days), this gap widens.

How do you feel about your household's division? Here are some tips to start the conversation on sharing responsibilities with your partner:

  • Delete, simplify or delegate. Getting things off your combined todo list should be your first goal.  Read more here

  • Designate total areas of ownership. For example, taking on 'laundry' means that you are in charge of making sure there is enough soap, knowing which items need to be hung to dry and putting the clothes away. 

  • Let them do it their way. Once your partner is doing their area, resist the urge to micromanage, give reminders, or correct. You can't ask people to do something and then try to manage how they do it. Take it off your list. 

  • Communicate, communicate, communicate. Find a way that works for your family to share information. Some moms have weekly family meetings or shared Google Calendars. Joe and I use a simple calendar whiteboard. We chat in front of it for 5 minutes on Sunday to make a plan for the week. 

Here is a worksheet that you can use to structure your conversation. Chances are that both of you don't realize how much the other is already doing. Please add items to it -- make it your own. 

Let me know if you try this and how it goes!

Asking for help from your partner is also a form of self care.


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