I know I can be my own worst enemy. I’ve said things to myself that I would never say to my worst enemy. Chances are you have, too. You are not alone.
We do this for a reason. We believe that by being hard on ourselves, we’ll whip ourselves into shape. By picking apart ourselves, we’ll motivate ourselves to be better.
However, the research points to the opposite. Studies show that being self-compassionate leads to greater self-improvement and motivation.
People who beat themselves up have less confidence and are more likely to be anxious. Self-compassionate folks are motivated by wanting to learn and grow, not by being better than others. You are more likely to try again when you mess up. Basically, self-compassion is a key factor in grit.
Think about if you talked to your kid the way you do to yourself when they messed up. Do you think they’d want to try again? Why are you any different?
So, today, give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. It might just be the motivation you need to be your best.