Shit, this is hard

Last week, I had a wake-up call. Due to stress, I had stopped being anywhere close to my best self. I was snapping at my co-founder and unable to be present with my family.  I realized that the number one thing I can do each day — more than worrying about my kid’s education or my never-ending todo list — was to do whatever it took to make sure I showed up fully each day.  I meditated for an hour each on Friday and Saturday until my break stopped being a tightly wound spring. I wrote down the type of leader I wanted to be and, honestly, did a lot of crying about how I haven’t been that person in the past month or two.  Then I forgave myself and moved on. We’re in a global pandemic. The economy is crashing. Our support networks have been taken away from us. We are mourning what our lives were like merely months ago. It’s normal for me to be a hot mess.  But, my plea to you today is not to forget who you want to be. She’s amazing. Write down her qualities. Place them somewhere you can see them and slowly make your way back to her.  Here are mine:

  • Ownership. Own my flaws and mistakes to strive to improve.

  • Growth. Always looking to improve and help others around me do the same.

  • Innovation. Always look for fresh ways to do things and encourage “yes, and” thinking for my team.

  • Curiosity. Approach everything with a curious mindset and always assume positive intent from others.

  • Authenticity.  Showing my flaws in posts like this, and using myself and my team as the ultimate case study.


P.S.: My kids just watched some TV or played in the yard during this introspection. And then I was able to be fully present for the rest of the weekend with them. No guilt.


#covid19 #pandemic2020