The Truth About Perfectionism

Who here has at least a hint of perfectionism? (Raising my hand.) Who here also thinks that their perfectionism makes them better? (Hand is still up.) Rubin said a quote that hit home to me—Perfectionism is about anxiety, not standards. Studies show that the more perfectionist tendencies you have, the more psychological disorders you suffer.  You can have high standards while still giving yourself grace when you don’t meet them all the time. That self-compassion is what help

The Bucket on Top of Your Head

One day I was having a bad day and cried in front of Chloe. She looked at me and said, “Mom, we all have buckets on top of our heads. Somedays our buckets get filled up when things are all going well. Other days, the world scoops out all your water.” Shocked at how wise my six-year-old was being, I asked, “What happens when your bucket is empty?” She paused for a few minutes, thinking. Then she said, “You go to bed, and when you wake up, there is more water in it.” She’s righ

What's Your Readiness Score?

I recently bought an Oura ring, which is a pretty fantastic wearable self-quantification tool that is a Fitbit on steroids. What I love most, though, is my Readiness Score⁠—a daily rating on how much I am ready to exert myself that day based on factors like my sleep quality, resting heart rate, and body temperature. Before, I just charged hard most days. Now, I have a reminder in the morning to check-in with myself. Is today a better day to take it easy and recover, or am I r

Yes, a study to make you feel less guilt

Say 'No' to Guilt As a working mom, it’s easy to feel guilty about not spending enough time with our kids. Please, stop. A recent study shows that the amount of time a mom spends with kids between 3 and 11 has no relationship to how they turn out -- academically, emotionally or behaviorally. On top of that, working mothers are spending as much time today with their kids as stay-at-home moms did in the early 1970s. Want to know what the study found does affect your kids develo

Know Your Peak Hours

One of my working mom super-moves is finishing all of my real work before the day even begins. I am an early bird and love waking up at 5 AM to enjoy a cup of lemon water in peace and hop on my computer to knock out my most important task before the rest of the house wakes. 85% of you are probably thinking, 'This is my definition of hell,.' We have different peak hours -- the times when we are most productive. I'm a Lion chronotype, which means I should do my most intense tas

What Do You Need Right Now

I love Lauren Smith Brody's awesome book about returning from leave, The Fifth Trimester, especially her tip on how to not to get overwhelmed. She suggests two simple steps: Ask yourself, 'What do I need right now?' And, then ask for that help. What do you need right now? A more flexible work schedule. Help cleaning the house.  A shoulder to cry on. A walk around the block. A glass of wine. Laughter with good friends. An hour to exercise. Every person and day will be differen

My Theme: Root Cause

I'm giving my 2018 a theme -- Root Cause. So often I just treat symptoms in my life versus fixing what is actually wrong. For example, I have a dozen tricks to help me handle stress while I ignore fixing what is actually stressing me out. 2018 is going to be different. I'm going deeper and tackling the real problems in my life. Some examples: Do an elimination diet to figure out what's actually causing my digestive issues. (Hint, it's probably artificial sweeteners.) Fix my p