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Kari Clark
  • Feb 4, 2020
  • 1 min

My Type of Parenting Method—CTFD

I often get asked what the ideal parenting method is. My new favorite is CTFD, which stands for “Calm the F*ck Down.” (Hint, it’s directed at you, not your kids.) The idea is that no matter how you choose to parent, your kids will grow up fine. Let’s see it in action: Worried that your neighbor’s kid is walking way before yours? Calm the f*ck down. Concerned that your kids misbehave in public? Calm the f*ck down. Stressed that you aren’t the parent you thought you’d be? Calm

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Kari Clark
  • Jan 20, 2020
  • 1 min

Notice the headwinds

So often we notice the headwinds in our life—what is making things harder for us. Raising money is harder as a woman. Mommy bias is the most prominent bias in the workforce. When was the last time you noticed what is pushing you forward? Studies show that we are far more likely to notice your headwinds than your tailwinds. Today, make a list of all the things that you have in your favor. Here are a few of mine: Joe and my in-laws are insanely helpful. I have a true tribe lovi

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Kari Clark
  • Jan 14, 2020
  • 1 min

Talk to your past self

On the Tim Ferriss podcast, Penn (from Penn and Teller) talked about the benefits of his extensive journaling practice (from the past 30-plus years). Every morning he writes a detailed report of the past 24-hours—who did he talk to, summaries of what he read or watched, etc. After writing those, he goes back and reads the entries from 20, 10, 5 and 1-year ago, talking to his past self. He notices changes and patterns. For example, if he’s had the same argument with a romantic

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Kari Clark
  • Jan 6, 2020
  • 1 min

Kids have pretty low expectations

It’s easy to forget that everything is new for kids. The other night, I wanted to take the kids driving to see Christmas lights. Joe and I struggled to research the best ones near us and almost didn’t go. Instead, I had us all hop in the car and drove. I told the kids that they had a super-special mission—point out all the lights. They got excited over all of them, even the simple white ones. They didn’t need to see an over-the-top, extravaganza synchronized with the latest p

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Kari Clark
  • Jan 1, 2020
  • 1 min

Write a letter to future you

Recently a friend told me about a tradition she does each new year—writing a letter to herself a year from now. I just did it: First, I wrote about where my head was at right now—what I was worried about, where my life was. Then I wrote about my hopes for myself. And finally, I reminded myself of what works for me to chill the f*** out. (Trust me, I need a constant reminder.) What’s in your letter? Don’t just think, “That sounds like a great idea.” Take 15 minutes this week a

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Kari Clark
  • Dec 27, 2019
  • 1 min

Be Brave

Chloe has a cute shirt that reads “Brave.” I asked her the other day what “brave” meant to her. “Not being scared, mommy.” “No, Chloe. Being brave is being scared and doing it anyway.” What are you scared of? How would your life be different if you did it? Be brave, --firstname--. Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. <I’ll take a photo of her with this shirt and share it with you guys> #selftalk #risktraking

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Kari Clark
  • Dec 20, 2019
  • 1 min

What are your bright spots?

So often when getting feedback, we look for our ‘blind spots’—what am I bad at that I don’t realize? But just as important (if not more) is looking for our ‘bright spots’—what am I good at that I don’t realize? Knowing that full picture helps you lean into what’s going to set you apart. Don’t know? Ask. Ask your partner, your boss, an employee, and your best friend. Trust me, it’ll be fun. #selfawareness #career #selftalk

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Kari Clark
  • Aug 27, 2019
  • 1 min

Put Your Hand on Your Heart

Recently a tiny action has made a massive difference in my self-talk. When I feel worn down or hard on myself, I place my hand on the bare skin over my heart. This movement is incredibly comforting. Maybe it’s the skin-to-skin contact or just taking a second to pause. The physical touch reminds me to be kind to myself and helps me connect to my emotions to take a few moments to feel. Show yourself a little love today. The best part is that you can do this right now in a few s

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Kari Clark
  • Aug 9, 2019
  • 1 min

Create An Unwind Mantra

I am a doer, so when I get a break, I can find it hard to actually chill out. My mind races a mile a minute: add to the to-do list, answer that email in my head, or replay that conversation I messed up. Please stop. Enter mantras. They are scientifically proven to quiet the system responsible for your “default mode network", a system responsible for self-reflection and self-judgment,” according to Psychology Today. Try one that not only quiets your mind but gives you a bit

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Kari Clark
  • Aug 8, 2019
  • 1 min

How to Support Someone Struggling

You guys know me—I’m pretty positive. However, positivity isn’t always best, especially when someone is in pain. A “You’ve got this!” when someone is truly hurting can make you seem unemphatic and cause people to withdraw. Psychotherapist Whitney Goodman coined this attitude as “dismissive positivity.” If you are trying to help someone struggling, here are some small tweaks she recommends: Think happy thoughts. → It’s probably pretty hard to be positive right now. I’m putti

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Kari Clark
  • Jul 26, 2019
  • 1 min

Start a Daydreaming Practice

When was the last time you let yourself dream about your future? You know, the dreaming you did in Math class in High School, or as a first time pregnant mom. I love Sheri Salata's suggestion of starting a Daydreaming practice by setting aside 10-minutes a day to just let your mind go. For me, I want to move to Europe for a couple of years when the kids are in middle school. To create a movement where the world sees how badass working moms are. And, to take Chloe on a s

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Kari Clark
  • May 29, 2019
  • 1 min

Retune Your Inner Voice

I  recently went to one of Jessica Coleman's Magic of Human Connection workshops. It was, well, magical. For an hour, we just celebrated the human connection with enthusiasm. My favorite part? Retuning my inner voice. So often, our internal dialogue is negative. We say things to ourselves that we'd never say to someone else. So for two minutes, you sat between two people who whispered positive thoughts into your ears: You are smart and can do anything you put your mind to

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Kari Clark
  • May 15, 2019
  • 1 min

10,000 Ways that Don't Work

I recently stumbled across a quote from Thomas Edison—"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." As a mom of a startup and two young kids, this resonated. Every day is an experiment. Will this new sales technique work? Or, will I magically figure out how to get my kids to put their shoes on without complaining? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ For each stumbling block, I remind myself—I've not failed. I've learned. So, today, reframe that challenge. #risktaking #selftalk

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Kari Clark
  • Apr 26, 2019
  • 1 min

Pat Yourself on the Back

Recently, I had a conversation with one of our coaches that choked me up. I had just shared all of our content with her, and she was like, "Wow, there has been a ridiculous amount of work done." In my go-go-go mindset, I hadn't stopped to appreciate all that I had accomplished. I just moved on to the next thing on my to-do list. That simple comment made me stop and appreciate myself (and my rocking team.) So today's tip: slow down. Look at how much you have accomplishe

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Kari Clark
  • Apr 15, 2019
  • 1 min

Talk to Yourself

I've recently started a new habit that could certify me as crazy. Instead of listening to the radio or a podcast on my commute to work, I talk. To myself. My brain is overloaded with over-consumption of info. Emails. Podcasts. Calls. Audiobooks. Articles. Reports. It's just too much. I need some time to think and process. I want to start getting more things out of my head than in. So, I've turned dead-time into some of my most valuable of the day. I spend those 20-minu

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Kari Clark
  • Mar 7, 2019
  • 1 min

Play Patriarchy Chicken

Here's a new game to play on your commute to work—patriarchy chicken. Just refuse to get out of the way for men as you walk along. (Note, this is for walking commutes, not driving. Please no car chicken here!) Usually, as a woman, you find yourself dodging walls of men. Men have been socialized to take up space and women to adapt. Trust me, there will be a few collisions, but practicing this on something as low-risk as your commute builds your ability to do stand your

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Kari Clark
  • Jan 11, 2019
  • 2 min

Stop and Buy this Book

I'm obsessed with Shonda Rhimes' Year of Yes. If you don't have this book, get it immediately. She's such a badass working mom. Here is a favorite passage that I read yesterday: Women are praised for traits that generally render them invisible. The culprit is the language generally used to praise women, especially mothers...She sacrificed everything for her children. She thought about everyone but herself. She gave up everything for us.... Greeting card companies are b

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Kari Clark
  • Oct 19, 2018
  • 1 min

The No Fun Deadly Sin

"Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all." —Joseph Epstein So today, stop comparing yourself to the mom who seems to have it all together. (Trust me, she still struggles.) Stop scrolling through Instagram pics of perfect moments. (Trust me, you are seeing the highlight reel, not the bloopers.) Instead, focus on you. What do you need today? What is going right for you? I mean, if I am going to commit deadly sins, they better have chocolate or wine involved. #selfc

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Kari Clark
  • Oct 11, 2018
  • 1 min

Be Pronoid (Is that a Word?)

This week, I discovered my new favorite word: Pronoia. The opposite of paranoia, pronoia is when you feel the world around you conspires to shower blessings on you. Think the moms at the playground are talking about you? Pretend it’s about what a great mom you are for encouraging your kid’s independence. Someone at work delivers feedback that stings? Assume positive intent. They are trying to make you the best version of yourself. This week, see what this simple shift can do

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Kari Clark
  • Sep 25, 2018
  • 1 min

Doggone It, People Like Me

I love Halcyon Program Coordinator, Mike Malloy's daily habit. Every time he looks in the mirror, he tells himself something positive. Too often, our self-talk (especially around mirrors) focuses on the negative. So today, shake it up and repeat with me: I look fantastic. I am a good mom.  I am worth it. And, doggone it, people like me. #selfcare #selftalk #selfcompassion

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