What to do if you suck at meditating

I often hear busy moms complain that meditation doesn’t work for them. I get it; our minds are going a million miles a minute and pausing sometimes can bring up more anxiety, not less. Enter breathwork. It has the same mind (and body) calming effects as meditation, but is active. You are doing something, which makes it so much easier to execute. Breathwork combats stress and depression. So today, grab 10-minutes and breathe. #selfcare #stress #beingpresent

How to be your own work valentine (Pt. 2)

Here are a few more tips from my Forbes interview on how to have self-love at work. Being your own work Valentine isn’t about conversation hearts and red roses--it’s about appreciating who you are at work and beyond and letting that color your workdays. List Your Accomplishments: Micro Edition Before you wrap up your workday, make a quick list of all the things you did today. Gretchen Rubin calls this your “Ta-Da List,” and it’s a powerful, visible affirmation of your accompl

How to be your own work valentine

Flowers, chocolates, singing telegrams... some Valentine’s Day delights are just sweeter (and less weird) when they come from somebody else, especially at the office. But there’s plenty you can do for yourself when it comes to at-work self-care. I’m not talking about hand cream and a face mask, I’m talking about how you can treat yourself to build self-confidence, set boundaries, be a better leader, and grow creatively. I spoke to Kari Clark, Founder and CEO of Uplift, a plat

It’s Never 50/50

Creating a true partnership means that it’s hardly ever a 50/50 divide. Life is too unpredictable. We need to be able to flex with our (and our partner’s) needs.  Enter Brene Brown’s daily check-in with her husband: Each of them communicate how much gas they have left in the tank. (If you don’t have a partner, you can do this check-in with yourself.) Somedays he’ll come home and say, ‘I only have 20%.’ To which, she responds, ‘Don’t worry. I’ve got the other 80.’ Other days,

Help, my partner travels all the time!

Today’s question comes from one of our readers: My husband travels the entire work-week. How do I keep my sanity? I want to give you a big, virtual hug. Being a working mom solo is TOUGH. Here are a few tips to help Get help. Book a regular sitter for once a week to give you some downtime. Use that time to go to yoga, dinner with friends, or even catching a movie solo. A mother’s helper can also be a great (and cost-effective) way to help with the daily prep work. Reduce expe

You’re a poet and didn’t know it

Sometimes I need something to just get myself out of my head. Interesting enough to distract me from worries or that looming todo list, but not hard enough that I’m drained. So this week, I tried Gretchen Rubin’s idea of writing a haiku. (As a refresher, a three-line poem with has 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, and 5 in the last.) I was surprised at how much it calmed me and was fun. Here is mine: Kids wake before dawn TV Chromecasted from bed Grateful for Netflix

A Simple Tip For Better Sex

I recently met a sex coach at a conference and asked for her top tip to improve sex for a married couple. Her answer was shockingly simple: do a debrief. After sex, talk honestly about what it was like for each of you. I realized how rare that conversation happened between Joe and me. And since our individual experiences are so different, how would we have any idea without telling each other? At work, we constantly look to improve through feedback from our colleagues a

Why It's So Hard

Recently I was talking to another founder about why starting a company is so hard. She said, "You are just doing everything for the first time. Even once you figure something out, you iterate, so everything is new." It reminded me of being a new mom. Everything is new. Once you figure something out, your baby (and situation) changes. Just recognizing why it was so hard made me feel better and show myself some self-compassion. Hopefully it helps you a bit, too. #selflove #s

Married Moms Spend More Time on Housework than Single Ones

A new study shows that on average, a woman married to a man spends 32 more minutes per day on housework than her single mom counterparts. Read that sentence again and let it sink in. The reason for the difference is enlightening. Married women place higher expectations on themselves to have a cleaner house or more elaborate meals. Single moms by necessity, let go of unrealistic expectations and get on average 10 minutes more to themselves and 13 minutes more sleep each

Take Advantage of All Your Benefits

I’m always shocked by the fact that only 28% of people max out their vacation days each year. Vacation is your time to recharge and come back even more ready to kick some butt. I bet there are other benefits from your work that you aren’t taking full advantage of. Here are a few common ones: Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) often cover financial and relationship counseling Discounts on local activities, museums, restaurants, and products Education stipends to cover classes,

Take a Mental Health Day

On Thursday, I woke up burnt out. The old Kari would have just pushed through the day. Instead, I told my team that I was taking the day off for a mental health day. I had the mini-adventure that I talked about yesterday. It was awesome. By the end of the day, even though I didn’t ‘work,’ I had made some significant company decisions. I then woke up the next morning energized and ready to kill it. The best thing I can do for my company is to have clarity of thought. Som

Whatever You Do, Don’t Turn on Yourself

Last week I didn’t get into the start-up accelerator, Y Combinator. It was a long-shot. 1% of applicants get in, but I was disappointed. A good friend gave me great advice: “Whatever you do, don’t turn on yourself.” I loved this. The world might beat you down, but you can’t let your inner dialogue tear down your self-confidence. So today, ask yourself: Am I on my side? And, don’t forget, we’re rooting for you, too. #selfcompassion #selfcare #growthmindset

Work-life Balance Isn’t a Zero-sum Game

When we ask moms if we could wave a magic wand and grant them one wish, 70% say some version of ‘more time.’ Unfortunately, all of us are stuck with 168 hours each week. Luckily, work-life balance isn’t a zero-sum game. Having a ‘break’ from my kids for work makes me a better mom. I am psyched to see them and revel in the few hours I get with them a day. (As compared to the utter tiredness I feel on Sunday evening.) The ‘break’ from work to be with my kids also makes me bette

The Truth About Perfectionism

Who here has at least a hint of perfectionism? (Raising my hand.) Who here also thinks that their perfectionism makes them better? (Hand is still up.) Rubin said a quote that hit home to me—Perfectionism is about anxiety, not standards. Studies show that the more perfectionist tendencies you have, the more psychological disorders you suffer.  You can have high standards while still giving yourself grace when you don’t meet them all the time. That self-compassion is what help

The Bucket on Top of Your Head

One day I was having a bad day and cried in front of Chloe. She looked at me and said, “Mom, we all have buckets on top of our heads. Somedays our buckets get filled up when things are all going well. Other days, the world scoops out all your water.” Shocked at how wise my six-year-old was being, I asked, “What happens when your bucket is empty?” She paused for a few minutes, thinking. Then she said, “You go to bed, and when you wake up, there is more water in it.” She’s righ

Are You Willing to do the Work?

Recently, I’ve been struggling with the fact that I’ve gained 15 pounds since I became a founder. I am so proud of my fitness and feel like part of my identity has been taken away. Then I read this article about what actions it takes to be lean at different levels. Was I willing to do the habits necessary to get the goal I wanted? At this point in my life, no. I want more than two drinks a week and don’t want to weigh all my food. As hard as this is for me mentally, I realize

A Simple Shift Around Sleep

After giving to everyone else all day, it’s so tempting to push bedtime later. We want to push bedtime later. Watch an extra show. Read one more article. Have another glass of wine.  When you think of sleep as the end of the day, it’s hard to let go at night. Instead, think of sleep as the start of the next day. Approach it with anticipation. You want to go to sleep to get a good night’s sleep and a jump on the next day. Think of all the exciting things that you have to look

Take It When You Can Get It

Today, I needed to take the car to the shop. The last time I had to, Joe booked a garage in the middle of nowhere. This time, he luckily booked it in a cute part of town that I’ve never explored. I spent this morning at two lovely coffee shops enjoying some me-time and even had a leisurely venture to Whole Foods sans kids. Somehow what could have been drudgery has been one of my best mornings in a while. Part of the magic was that the exceptional circumstances were such a su

Be Scared

I wanted to share with you a practice I try to do daily. I close my eyes and focus on my breath for a few minutes to still my mind. Then I ask myself, “What am I resisting most in my life right now?” Waves of emotions come. I name them and then sit with them. Once they die down, I ask myself the question again to get a new wave. 95% of the time, my waves are some version of fear. It’s intense and uncomfortable. But, in sitting with them, they dissipate. Within 5 to 10 minutes

Use Business Trips to Your Advantage

Society tells us that business travel hurts work-life balance. But does it have to? If you play your cards right, you can stack your business trips with all of your non-family activities, so that when you get back, you are more present and available for your kids. Do your errands. Sitting in the airport waiting for a flight is a great time to fill out camp forms or make doctor’s appointments. Check off your self-care needs. Get a haircut or the pedicure you desperately need